Big is not a factor but Small Does...with the Power of it..you'll turn to dust!

2011-11-01T21:31:00.002+08:00

I still remember what you told me.
After a long talk that night, you told me, you wanted to settle down with me.
But with this kind of lifestyle you are living in?
Going parties and mingle around with your guy friends?
Thats what you called ready to settle down?

Sadly enough, you basically didnt even keep to your words. Im so disappointed with you.
Someone whom i trust so much, whom i loved with all my life, betrayed my trust, my love, betrayed me.

You wanted freedom, i gave it to you. Why? because you put words into my mouth.
What did you stated about me? Basically, you told me that i controlled you? I didnt gave you much space to breathe?

For god sake, you are working, and you wanted to go mingle around with your guy friends after work? If you are not working the next day, i am fine with it. But you are fucking working in the morning?!

Being caring towards you , and all i got was being overprotected?!
What a shame. Shame on you Nurlin.

And soon, after that long talk, both agreed to understand each other's need and freedom
Infact, i gave you the freedom, just the same as risking my own life to the knife.

You dont know how much courage to do that didnt you?
And all you said is that, I DONT FUCKING UNDERSTAND YOU!?
You called me names, you looked down upon me.

Let me recap what had happened today.

You called me, you asked me in a very VERY nice manner.
I knew something issnt right.
Your tone of voice...

Well, you asked me, weather i have made any plans for us over the weekends,
I said, NOT YET.
And you happily told me that your guy friends are planning to go club.

There i am, with full courage, said carry on.
And what i was expecting was, you asking me along.

But NO!? you didnt. And i did asked you why, and the next minute, you were so pissed with me!?
You called me names, you hung up on me. You rejected my phonecalls?
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?

You wanted freedom, I GAVE YOU
you wanted to meet your Friends, I GAVE YOU
You wanted everything, I WILLINGLY GAVE YOU

AND WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME JUST ASKING YOU ONE FUCKING QUESTION!???!?!?!?!?

And you claimed, your guy friends are going with their scandals and sluts... well, that shows HOW GREAT YOUR FRIENDS ARE!
and you, being there alone, no one to take care of..

GREAT!?
FUCK YOU. Seriously. FUCK YOU!

2011-10-06T22:42:00.002+08:00

You wanted to meet your guy friends, i gathered my trust and let you go.
I called you, checking you out, and yet, you get agitated by just one call.

I wanted to tell you how much i missed you. But your attention was more closer to your friends.
I did not dislike your friends. But, looking at what i experienced recently, while i was with my friends, you did called me numerous time while you were working. I did not even hesitate to answer your calls, eventhough my friends are there talking to me.

Instead, i felt very warm and loved, because there's atleast someone who checked me out. I dont mind talking to you while with my friends. I really dont mind, eventhough i didnt meet them for a long time. And yet they too, understand what is it like to be in a relationship with someone.

But, how come, i get the opposite side?
Why were you being annoyed. I understand that you didn't meet them for ages. Was it just wrong for me to talk to you for a while? Its not that i really wanna interrupt your moments with your best guys.. Just 10 mins, and you sounds pretty much agitated and annoyed.

Hands Down to what you just did baby.

Seriously, you hurt me.

Good Night. :'(

2011-09-10T22:04:00.001+08:00

Well, the word giving up isn't always in my dictionary... But After what had happened, i really wanted to do so. Seriously. This is so freaking frustrating.

2011-08-28T17:21:00.003+08:00

Seriously, i dont get it. What the hell is wrong with you these few months.
Like seriously, what the fuck has got into your mind?
I kept my cool too much for you and there you go, just stepping on top of my head just like everyone else. What is wrong with you!?!?!? EEEURGH!

Bull SHIT!

Here i am, pulled you up when your down, support your ideas, fucking sacrifice for you, and what the fuck did i get in return? fucking selfish from own girlfriend. Fuck. I didn't expect you to be worst okay? this went overboard and something need to be done.

What good deeds i did towards you, and out of care and concern, you instead believe in your friend ( a newly made friend) to be exact, looking at me as a possessive guy. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!??!?!?!?!?!

And what? staying together and going through obstacles together? you did not even practice it. It shows how bad it is okay. I didn't kept quiet, i shared my thoughts and problems, but fuck, you wanna win in the situation, instead of helping and work things out together. fuck.

I've been very patience through out. Dont let me burst into flames . seriously, you are indeed agitating me and provoking me INDIRECTLY.

Im trying to make things better, but you are one god damn stuborn to do so.
EEEUUUGGHHHHRHRHERLBASDHDSLJHFO*@Y+*YWCR}UM}(_$V@$@$VY}( _

2011-06-22T21:05:00.003+08:00

Its been a month since i update about my life.
Have been working endlessly through out the whole month.
Working as a contractor under Shipping and Receiving isn't a job that is as simple as ABC.
After 2 years serving the nation, and getting pampered with government's money,
I am now starting to adapt to the real world. There's pros and cons, but life has offered me with no choice, but to sacrifice my mind,body and soul to get what i wanted to achieve.

My goal, to get a diploma and get a stable job for my future.
But, that doesnt stop there, it fiddles with my private life, my time and my loved ones.
I need to have good time management as my work schedule was so tight and unpredictable.

Every single day, working for 15 hours, and you can only have your pillows and mattress to greet you at night. Isn't a funny issue.

So many things needed with so less savings. A total of $12k is what i need, to cover up,
Education Expenses, Electronic Gadgets such as Macbook Pro, and also a new set of Pro DSLR.
A total of 1 Year ++ for me to save and get everything on track.

Sometimes, with what you are targeting for, you get carried away with some major part of your life.
Your Loved Ones. Yes, indeed sometimes you are too busy, even though you think of them, but the time spent with them is limited. Sometimes, i am on the verge to give up on everything.
Give up on my career, my dreams, just to be with my loved one and make them happy.
But I guess, that is just plain stupid path to take upon.

So, sacrifice takes a major role in this life.
To give others happiness, one should sacrifice to make the living better and cherish-able.

For that, i would like to end this post with a note for her..

"Though we are a few months old, doesn't matter if most of it are fights and quarrels, but i assure you, if we kept on holding our hands tightly, believe in us, and put our heart and soul together, we can go as far as we can imagine."
"To have you, is something i will treasure for.
But to love you, is something i enjoyed doing most."

Loving You Always Lyn... <3

2011-05-19T10:35:00.003+08:00

I was panting and gasping for air the minute i woke up from a bad dream.
It involves most of my close friend and buddy. And its such a weird dream that triggered me to think whether is it true or not.

I could still remember clearly what happen during that dream, and i think i could somehow
put it in words to let you readers have a view on it.
I was attending this wedding ceremony, of my camp mate, Ridzman.
But somehow, his fiance' ran away and i have to chase her, which leads me to a small pent house.
when i got hold of her, advised her or something, Titi came.
Her expression was eerie, and she was carrying a knife.
And this is when everything changed to dull and painful.
She was stabbing me while i was going out of the pent house.
Demanding me to give her something, which obviously i don't have a clue what shes talking about because she was crying and screaming.

Soon, with blood everywhere, and feeling annoyed, i have to kicked her hard back into the house
and lock the door. Ran off to the wedding ceremony with blood and to my horror, the whole place was burnt down.......

2011-05-17T01:01:00.002+08:00

She's the girl whom i fallen in love with and she's been there with me
most of the time. She showed me the path whenever I'm lost,
she offered me hugs like there's no tomorrow.
Though stubborn and *makan hati* at times,
She will always be here, with me, in my heart, and soul.
I love you dear. Happy 3rd Month for Us..
<3
*birthday coming..*

2011-05-11T15:02:00.002+08:00

Its been a while since i update this blog. Been too busy with life lately.
Well, all I can do now is to just give a brief story of what happened on March, April and May

MARCH
I called it a month of argumentation. Doesn't matter if its with the loved ones or with other people around me. Maybe, i let a bit of my past controlled me and let them know what i were made of in the past.

I didn't mean to hurt the others, but sometimes, with no physical contact being raise upon, i shall use my own words to bring them down.

April
I took advantage of time to complete unfinished business. To cover up any gaping holes and got myself ready for the real world on May.

May
This is it. Im free from the army and my real live starts. But just as i thought that everything's gonna be as alright, guess what, problems starts to rise. Schedule starts to come up. And i still and struggling to find part time jobs with flexible schedule.

And what would you do, if you see your loved ones sick, and are doing things that could worsen their health problems? And how do you feel when you advised them not to, but they don't really care about it?

As far as you are concerned, you don't want to loose them and at the same time, don't want to hurt them or control their life.

You know you cant get that much help from others and also you cant even help yourself. How are you suppose to help others?
You sometimes felt so useless, and couldn't be of a help to others. You know you could do things, but without the help of financial schemes and with expensive education system nowadays,
how could you do your parents proud and be a success in your life?

I know there's many opportunity in life that offered me. But i couldnt go around doing things which i dont like, and for who? the benefits of others? No, that what had happened in my army life. I wont let it re-occur again this time round.

As far as I'm concerned, I believe i could do better. I just need the time and finance to go through it.
And lastly, support from whomever things im one of their special kind.

Good Day Ahead.

2011-03-14T08:54:00.002+08:00

February. A month where everything begins. Hectic schedules and projects piles up like nobody business. Tight deadlines and endless counts of editorials really cause a spank on the butt.
Never the less, despite having terrible brain trauma due to fatigue, life still continues to find the right path to success.

Integration Week was a very strenuous part of February. It is when each and everyone were test on their profession and skill. Mentality and physical strength also took part in this test, and i took responsibility on everything i do, be it decision making, and also getting the whole platoon organize. As soon as it ended up with some bitter sweetness, all of us were thankful that it was finally over.

School wise, Ive been surveying schools after schools for me to get into my desired course, so as to pursue my career with ease. There's two factors going to block me up. Money, and Time.
These two factors really made me stop at a moment, to think and re-plan my future.
Nothing's gonna stop me anyways. Only God can.
So, I will do my very best to get it done and move on in life.

Lets put those hectic moments aside. 22nd Year Anniversary of life was given a surprise celebration. I've longed for these to happen to me. The mixture of emotions and expression just couldn't be explained. Priceless moments spent together with your loved ones are just inimitable.
And the smile occupied almost 2/3 of my face on that day.
I'm so thankful and appreciate the things she did for me.

And shes non other than my one and only one, Nurlin Ramli. :)
I love you Sayang.

2011-01-30T14:49:00.002+08:00

I came to a sense that January is more to December. Reason being was that, the sky kept on showering heavily. And it kept me worried, when i could see a big bright moon early in the morning at 0830 hrs while going for a run. Something is not right. But, that does not stop me from living and excel in life.

After observing the things which happened this month, I am convinced that this year will be a good year. So many great things happened in the month of January. Though, there are some lil cock-ups here and there, but never the less, i am thankful that i had to enjoy January.

Up coming, will be a hectic month. Despite the "Ghost-Town" week, which is Chinese Lunar New Year, I am in deed am looking forward and am ready to do what it takes to overcome the month's obstacles.

- Last Integration Exercise.
- Packed Schedules
- And lots of commitments.

Even though at times, im doing this all alone, but guess what, i have my own pillar of strengths i supposed? Family, Friends, Brothers and love.

And i pretty much trust most of my instincts rather than thinking about the "what", "if", "why?" and those typical questions.
Im wierd at times i guess.

Well, till here.
And oh yah.

Celebrating 22nd Anniversary anonymously this coming 3rd feb......

2011-01-16T21:50:00.002+08:00

2011. A new year to look forward to.
I'm so hyped up to go through this year's obstacles and Experience both the bad and good times ahead.

- Reason being is that, I will be finishing my national service in a few months time.
- I will get to work and lift my dreams up.
- I will get to pursue my passion.
- And there will be lots of fun this year.

This is what I've been waiting for for the past few years.
And I will, no matter what, do my very best do gain something out of it.

I came across a girl.
She was simple.
And she made me appreciate life every single day.
<3

2010-12-12T16:37:00.003+08:00

I made it till the end of November.
Despite having some difficulties, regardless of income, self-esteem and confidence in life,
I managed to pull it through.

Each and everyone of us has fear.
Some battled through it to achieve something, and some, hide in the darkness and let fear conquer them. At times in life, we really need to be firm and somehow or rather, be more confident in ourselves, to really overcome something.
But with the beauty of life and the world which is such in a cruel state, we do, fail, and fall hard on our knees.
Such situation may affect those who give up easily.

December is here, and the year is coming to an end soon. Soon, 2011 will arise.
And I'm pretty much am ready for it.
I don't quite believe my heart, but more to my instincts.

Till then, Good Day.

2010-11-04T20:03:00.002+08:00

The month of October really wasn't on my side.
Well, part of it at least.
I managed to get some, but at the same time,
I have to let go some.

To bad that some people really tried too hard to piss me off.
But that doesn't stop me from doing anything that i wanted to.
Such that, they have to play rough to satisfy their needs and emotions.

I observed one thing in life. Or maybe, i just realized something that i have been neglecting or denying all these while.
Maybe was it just a cliche for girls nowadays to even play punk with guys?
Just or so that they themselves got hurt from a guy whom they love, and in the end,
to burst their anger out, they made an unlucky guy to be their rebound.

Interesting, but yet, they are lack of one thing. Professionalism.
Why? because, once they made a mess, they couldn't control themselves, and yet, without realizing, they are indeed putting up more shit for themselves.

And contradictions took place. bla bla bla... and vualla, back to square one.
One word. Stupidity.

I'm not trying to stereotype them girls. I bet the guys side of their stories are the same. So, to my conclusion, Humans...indeed are getting dumb. Well, some of them did.

Now is the starting month of November. And yet, there's more obstacles to go through. Faith and Strength is what i have. So, wish me luck.

2010-09-25T10:47:00.001+08:00

Telah puas aku mencoba

tuk mempertahankan cinta kita

namun kau masih berkeras hati

agar kita berpisah sahaja

Mengapa sikapmu sebegitu

fikir dululah wahai sayangku

jika itu yang engkau mahu

terpaksa ku relakan kau pergi....

2010-09-24T21:12:00.002+08:00

It seems that im not even close winning the battle.
How i wish we could just meet and settle this once and for all...
I felt that its such a blissfull act by your silence.

2010-09-19T23:09:00.000+08:00

People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality;
their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit.

Love hurts.

Feelings are disturbing.

People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous.
How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel?
Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain.

But they’re wrong.

Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.

2010-09-18T11:13:00.003+08:00

Who am i to you? Your Rebound?

I may be a fool.
But, dont try to use your lies unto me.
I dont fancy that.

2010-09-11T23:55:00.001+08:00

Raya doesn't seems that special to me this year.
I just felt that it's just the same normal days I went through...

2010-08-31T12:47:00.002+08:00

The month of July and August has been a very hectic month.
Alot of things happened in camp.
Politics, stupidity and black-mailed.
To the point where it makes me feel that i just want this chaos to end as soon as possible.

I don't want to elaborate more on SAF chapter.
Sensitivity issue have been going on these few days.
I don't want to make a big fuss out of it though.

In life, I've been dealing with lots of problems solving lately.
Some of it, i managed to get through it.
But for the remaining ones, i am still in the progress to find the solution to it.

Never the less, there are some good bunch of lovelies, still stay behind with me during my hard times.
Without a second thought, and sincerely, i would like to thank "you know who you are guys"
for making my life a colorful one rather than a dull-looking hole.
Thank you.

And, i think, its time for me to settle down from finding love?
<3

2010-07-17T19:10:00.002+08:00

couldnt more or less to just abandoned the plan

2010-06-26T21:30:00.002+08:00

Well, i almost forgot that i ever own a blog.
Things have been changing lately.
Be it in life and also the way i look things at.

Questions kept on popping in my mind.
Every word in that question were all in bold.
Something very important to me which i should not neglect about it.
Well, you might think that i may be having fear of dealing with things, but nope, i am not.
Though i will be struggling and suffering from major failure, i will still try to get every support i could get and get my job done.

But in order to get things started, i really need a stepping stone.
Things like, "what am i going to do after me serving the nation", "Will i ever make my parents proud"kept bothering me. Such that i really need to get up and start thinking bout my future seriously.

Being the eldest between the siblings, and has a far age gap between them, i really need to have more than what it takes to be a brother, a son.
Though parents are still working, but they are getting older day by day.

Hopefully, i would get the solution on it.

And yeah, at times, i would rather felt this emptiness in me.
Something which supposed to be in my heart, but it isn't there.
You would most probably know what im talking about.
Love. A soul mate.
But i kept telling myself, not to worry. Even though i don't have a lover,
still i have friends and family members to turn to.
Sometimes, it could struck my emotional sense.
I managed to get control of it though.

Its been a year since i serve the nation. another 10 more months to go.
Perseverance and support from loved ones is all i need.

2010-05-18T12:46:00.002+08:00

Wanna wish this 2 a happy 20th birthday!
May your life be wonderful while serving the nation yeh!?
hahahaaaaa!!!

2 more weeks left for me in this driving course.
Well, i finally get my military license and it feels darn great to drive around Singapore with a big monster truck. orgasmic i should say?
But, never the less, its kinda boring when you are traveling on an expressway.
50km/h. Oh my...

I cant wait to return to my unit and meet the peeps.
2 more weeks. just endure with it an..

Anyway, 22nd gonna have a meet up with lovely peeps.
Alot to catch up.

I'll keep on updating when im free again ya'all!
takecare!

2010-05-09T09:58:00.002+08:00

And again, i guess, there's not many readers out there visit my dusty old ragged blog.
Anyways, one month of not updating is all it takes to have a thought of ending my blogging life.
But, at a second thought, i would not want to, because i myself enjoy reading my past.

ironic?

Well, let me update you guys on what had happened on April last month.
During the driving course, i learnt to drive both class 3 and 4 vehicles.
Such that, i passed my class 3 assessment with just one shot.

And in the course, we were thought on this thing called, "Highway Situational Problems"
in abbreviations, its "Edge-ash-pee" That is what most of the instructors pronounced them. -.-"
It is about a map of a traffic junction was given to you. And there was this toy cars being arranged on them. And you have to move your car carefully, while saying out the safety procedures when you are on the road.

And guess what, i took that test for four attempts.

Never the less, last week is when we took our final class 4 TP.
And i didn't expect i could make it with 1st attempt.
But i did. Considered myself lucky though. Because both the tester and the big lorry plays apart.

And now, I'm left with 3 more weeks in the course and off I'm back to my old unit.

Well, i guess, in life we have to work even harder nowadays.
Especially in Singapore.

2010-04-03T11:57:00.003+08:00

Such hectic week in driving course.
We had a very short period of week to study for our highway code test.
The test was much difference from the ones you guys took for civilian license.
Next week would be another long week due to stay in till Saturday afternoon.
A 6 days-a-week course. And i'll get hands on on the rover soon. Hopefully I'll get use to it.

I did fairly good for the test just now. only 1 mistake.
And i dont know why i couldnt feel more or less excited.
Very mundane i guess.

And here's something for me to ask you guys about.
Is love about both being perfect for each other?
Or was it about any one of them being imperfect, and giving the imperfect a chance to be in love?

Think about it.

2010-03-28T01:03:00.002+08:00

Have you ever felt at a point of time, you are loosing away?
And when this happened, you tend not to take a deep breath and stay calm?
And when things got worst, you will go haywire and in fact, you ended up digging your own grave even deeper.

Well, if you have not felt this way, maybe you aint human at all.
Sometimes, shits just happened when you are enjoying the journey.
It doesn't even give you that pinch of mercy towards you.

Either you face it with bravery,
or just fall with disappointment.

I observed people are getting much more selfish than i thought.
It starts with people i know in camp and soon, my observation grew to people around me...
Yes i know, sometimes, you need to be one. But for the benefit of both party.
In other words, can i make a new philosophy?
"Use your selfishness wisely. Do not abuse it"

Okay, and so, i began to learn that the cyber world are getting high-teched.
Or should i say, kids nowadays, are getting more IT smart.
Web Sex?
Forgive me for this upcoming vulgarities.
but...., CHEE BAI! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'R DOING PEOPLE? SEX USING WEBCAM? WAH PUTHUMAYAM ROLLING STONE!

I wonder how they do it. Sounds interesting though. But its kinda gay.
and immature. and fuckingly stupid. Thats all.

so, In 2 days time, or should i say, 1 day time? I'll be only available on Saturday afternoons.
Reason being is that, i will be attending driving course which will took me around 8-10 weeks to complete the course.

Furthermore, what I'm totally annoyed off was that, We cant run, nor jog in the camp.
Tell me people...how am i gonna stay fit through out the course. -.-"
And what? Saturday afternoon book out?
oh dear. Guess i have to bear with it.

And oh yah, lastly... More and more liars are invading Singapore. Thats all.. :)

2010-03-27T01:03:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, the things that you really yearn for does not happen in your life.
It only showed up either when you gave up, or you work for another thing.
How hard can life pinned on us especially when our guards are down, and we are tied to the ground while our energy was being drained out.

People tend to look at that particular locked door for years, not realizing that there are more doors unlocked for them.

And pretty much disappointed with myself because of my curiosity, i learned more about people,
but at the same time, I'm eating myself up.
Very, disappointed. Seriously...

2010-03-22T00:40:00.003+08:00

Close to a month of not updating my blog.
Well, things are getting a lil "merepek" i guess.
Especially in camp. Political views everywhere.
And soon, i could predict that something far worst might happen.
But guess whut, hopefully by the time i get back to camp right after my driving course,
something good would take place.

And what have i been up to on march?
Basically its all about celebrating my loved-ones' birthdays.
Well, most em' are belated birthday celebrations.
And yeah, i had the best out of me when im with 'em.

Soon, march will pass by...
moving on to april....

2010-03-06T01:48:00.001+08:00

HOOOWAH! how many weeks of not updating blog...darn it.

2010-02-17T00:49:00.002+08:00

Well, both monday and tuesday were well spent with great people.
Without those planned being made, im sure that my off days were burnt just like that.
later on today at night, i'll have to return to camp and most prolly book out in the afternoon on thursday. How beutiful life could be when your in MRF. haha!

2010-02-14T01:06:00.002+08:00

Well, Catching up sessions with the girls and all are great.
All leading a good life...

Belated bd treat by chana was great. Really appreciated it darla.
:)

And lastly, Happy 21st Birthday Naryzan...

2010-02-07T02:15:00.002+08:00

I lived for 21 years already.
Shiet.

Welcome to the world of...
-Adulthood
-Court Marshal
- Pole Voting
-CPF Funds
-R21
-GST Money
-"Must have atleast 500 dollars in bank account"

Shiet.

And, Celebrations are simple, yet meaningful
Thanks to all, for the wishes, and effort to celebrate with me.

2010-01-30T23:55:00.002+08:00

Life in the service now are better.
Its fast that the month of January is passing by, and soon, comes February.
And since the unit are made up of Medics with various appointment, hence, I am being appointed
as a driver for deployments. And the course would commence in a few weeks time.
Pray hard that i'll make it through...

And in a few days time, I'll be a full-Pledged adult...
Lets get it through...

And i wonder, how should i spend my time on the 14th of next month later...

2010-01-23T15:18:00.001+08:00

It's like looking at the red apple growing on the tree, and waiting for it to drop....

Something to say: Im out of luck.

2010-01-17T01:35:00.000+08:00

This is definitely a hard task for me....

2010-01-16T13:32:00.002+08:00

Potential.
"Everyone has that kinda potential to achieve something that they want.
It is how they get through it bit by bit.
Pushing their limits and never stop learning.
They have to realize their mistakes from the tiny bit ones, to the major ones.
And upon learning their mistakes, they could more or less improve and hence,
getting a step closer to their dreams and goals...."

I tried it. I achieved most of what i wanted.
But what about love....?

2010-01-10T13:39:00.002+08:00

For past few days, i was suffering from hot hot heat fever.
Though, i was too stubborn to report sick and still, continue with tough training.
1 more week, and it'll be through. Hopefully the week would end fast and hopefully,
I'll adapt to changes faster this time.

Its been a long time since i check upon some of those loved ones.
And i felt pretty good for them because they are happy with their life currently.

pay is in. now who wanna date me out?

2010-01-02T02:03:00.000+08:00

I wanna meet Green Ranger Can?? Please mommy....

2010-01-01T02:11:00.000+08:00

Farewell 2009 and Hello 2010..

Alot of things happened in 2009.
Both good and bad moments cherished...

This year, i am not setting up any resolutions for myself as i have lost alot of confidence in me.
Even though i managed to smoked through the obstacles life has offered me, but still,
i dont see any difference taking place.

Well, i'll just go with the flow and see what 2010 will offer me.

Happy New Year Guys...

2009-12-26T13:44:00.003+08:00

Its not funny for being confined in camp for 2 weeks and was treated like dogs.
Never it will be a good memory for me during this conversion course.
Running around in gas mask, getting mental torture and physically tired.

And as a result of this stupid stuff, i missed my cousin's wedding ceremony.
I don't know how to make it up to her.

And it seems i have to endure pain for the next 3 weeks again.
And hopefully, it will all come to an end.

I've yet to think of my new year's resolutions.
But, with this state i am in, i think I'll just do it some other time.

Someone: Bro, you have a gf?
me: Gf? whats that??....

2009-12-13T23:08:00.002+08:00

Well, apparently, The EMT course has ended and everyone passed-out happily.
Its saddening to see everyone go to different path, separating each other and moving on
in life. Such bonding among each other was soo tight that everyone left with much of a heavy heart.

I cant deny that, the platoon that im in was much better then the ones during bmt.
They are a bunch of people who made you realised how meaningfull life is.
Teaching you through their mistakes in life, making you think that, its our choice to make
our life either easy, or difficult.

I cherish each and everyone of them. Very good bunch of peeps..

For some who did not made it through the course, on behalf of me and my platoon mates,
we wish you all the best in your upcoming posting..

I am now posted in Medical Response Force, and for one month, i will be having a tough time.
MRF conversion Course....

All the best to me and the others..
Good Night.

2009-12-05T23:55:00.002+08:00

Another weekend burn at home.
Despite the wet climate,
i managed to entertained myself by watching short films in you tube.
Some of it made me realize that such lil things really made a difference and
made life beautiful..

As what I've predicted, some people just change themselves, thinking that they are
better than anyone else.
But, tell you the truth, they don't realize each and every single effort others made,
to get them into the right path,
and made them happy.

In fact, they would take the advantage,
to take control of the others.

Well, i will just wait and see how things would go on with their ego's shooting up into the sky...

On the other side of the street,
Where's that singtel promoter?

2009-12-04T20:02:00.002+08:00

A few weeks to go, and there goes 2009.
The medical course are coming to an end,

I've not been feeling that well from the start of this month.
Ever since this migraines attacked me, i could not sleep in comfort.
I could not focus that well when working.

And to think of it, at times, i felt something wasnt that right at all,
especially when i tried to set my goals up,
and some factors might just pop-ed up, and lead me to retreat over the options i got.

I may not even understand my own feelings,
and the worst part, i would tend to get irritated by small little things.

I am soo not having a good feeling on these,
and i hate this new occurrance.
It brought me away from reality, and it kept eating myself out.

I think i need a break,
to go somewhere peaceful,
a place where i could ponder over...
to release myself for once...after a long time...

I guess, i have not been visiting Mr Sunset for a very long time...
Anyone willing to accompany me....

2009-11-28T20:35:00.000+08:00

That's all i have to share right now...

2009-11-27T02:17:00.002+08:00

Finally, attachment has ended.
And come military phase for the last 2 weeks.
After that, POP again.
But, am not ready for it.
Especially leaving the platoon behind and go on into another unit.

3 Days of off from the army life...
and wanna make it as fun as possible...

Lastly, Selamat hari Raya Haji to the muslims
and happy holidays!

i ask the wrong time at the wrong things...
or was it the wrong thing at the wrong time?

2009-11-25T01:09:00.002+08:00

Finally, we met. Though, dear ms shammy left early...but still,
a great get-togather-session with them.

Anyways, attachment would be over in 24 hours time.
Tomorrow would be staying in for a day and Thursday would be booking out.
Thank god the week gone very fast this time round...

2009-11-23T23:04:00.003+08:00

Well. 1st day of attachment.

Accessing Patient's vital signs and Chief of complains.
Me: Sir, Please relax...im gonna take your Brood *blood* Pressure
Patient: B-uh...B-uh-root? o_O??
Me: Sir, Please Hand me over the Thomometer *Themometer* and throw the plastic cover in the bin..
Well, basically, its tongue twisting when it comes to taking patient's vital signs.. -.-"
2 more days till completion of EMT phase 2.
2 weeks to POP
Tomorrow's belated birthday treats for the kedungdung dengdengs...
Oh well...

2009-11-23T20:56:00.004+08:00

Oh Strawberry Pie,
you are my companion when i am down,
you lit the dark surroundings around me
you warmed my heart when you're around me
you gave me this kind of sensation feelings when i see you
You made me shy
With the sweetness in you, covered with warmth and softness around you
With the inner part of you, so crusty and it melts me when indulged...

If only you are here with me,
how beautiful life could be...
I've been waiting for the right time to get you...
But, its been a stormy weather nowadays,
I'll try to get it easy 1st...

Oh Dear Strawberry pie.....

2009-11-21T03:06:00.000+08:00

Would like to take this opportunity to wish
Happy 20th and 19th birthday to these ladies.
Well, forgive me eh korang, for the late wish due to stupid hectic schedule in camp

But never the less, please, I hope, you two could make it
for this comming Tuesday.

Its like, 3 months or so since i met the both of you.
So please, im looking forward for this...
Missed you guys...

2009-11-14T11:22:00.001+08:00

Grey clouds covered the cities
Heavy downpour almost everyday
Goals after goals being chart out from the list
All i could do is to smile all the way

From the start, I didn't know it had to be this way
Hopeless,naive, and fearful i should say
But after realizing that these are my inner-hazards
I killed those fears and walk through the desert

As the tables of time start to turn
A fire in ma heart begins to burn
The flame within me is hotter than hell
What could this mean, only time can tell
People say life is like a maze
There are so many paths and so many ways
You always begin from the road that says “start”
But as you walk on it, it splits apart

But during the journey, there's traps and falls
No words of sympathy can describe those pain
Even though there's no support, i still stand tall
Mistakes learnt, and knowledge i gained.

Now, there's something to win over...
But, i guess, I'll take it easy...
Let see how it flows...

2009-11-08T04:38:00.002+08:00

This week was nothing but PAM.
And the wallet are getting thinner and lighter.
I wonder,if i could survive with such small amount of money for 4 days.
Next week would be dooms day. Well, not exactly,
but, for the benefit of a doubt,
Alot of test would be conducted the whole week.
Which explains, why i stayed at home and revised the whole day.

But thats not the point, in fact, dad was kinda ill, so yeah,
hopefully, he'll recover soon.

And, surprisingly, i managed to get myself out of this thing called "re-bound"
well, maybe some of the points are quite true.
They came just for one reason.
To forget the pass.......

2009-11-01T02:47:00.002+08:00

The story goes like this...

The afternoon was sunny bright,

intention was to complete the project.

But soon after recieving a text,

the mind asked, "project? what the heck!?"

Soon, clothings were put on,

and intention to do those stuff....

were gone...

Took the bag,

out from the house

Time to slack

Like a free mouse...

meet him,

met her

Went to Burger king

and had a delicious burger.

thought of catching a movie,

when the day went dark

but the time slot wasnt what we wanted to be,

and that wasnt our luck.

Soon the rain pour down

and the town was wet and cold

Expression changed to frown,

and the umbrellas, unfold...

Next stop, arab street

the plan for going sheesha

we got into the place and took a seat,

and everyone enjoyed themselves, so far...

A great day,

a great night

and another day,

to get you out of my sight.....

2009-10-31T02:14:00.002+08:00

And so, another week has passed.

Through out the week, i've been preparing myself for some re-test.

And thank god, i managed to pass all of 'em.

Though, the week passed quite fast this time round.

Maybe due to the packed schedule we have to go through.

Never the less, i managed to survive this week, as the 2nd day of the week,

we had to undergo the Gas chamber Drill Which some sort like the picture below...

and it is a great experience to be in there.

Everyone had a memorable time that day.

EMT II phase.

I hope i'll get it through again...

6 weeks to go.

And projects piling up... -.-

I'm missing my bestfriends including my dear shammy...*meet soon larh doh!*

and also, those loved ones...

have a great weekend aite...

2009-10-25T02:59:00.002+08:00

And so, a week of training in camp was quite fast..

Though, there were countless changes in the test schedule,

despite being paranoid and pressurised,

i managed to score for the test.

Though, some theory test are such a killer for me...

So far, 5 weeks had passed, and to look back on it, it was quite fast.

And soon, those in Guards unit would be getting their khaki beret and guards tab.

For me, maybe i would consider joining the Medical Respond Force.

A new post in the medical institute...

And getting yourself poke with a larger needle, really doesnt feel that painfull afterall...

only spasm i guess?

Its that feeling of butterflies flying in your guts

The feeling of something being erased from your memories

A love taken away from you

And not knowing where you would head to

Just facing your front, by your side, was just your shadow,

your enemy, your fear, and your instincts....

2009-10-18T17:04:00.003+08:00

Raya with the secondary school peeps was a blast last week. Everyone who knows how to drive,

took turns to drive the van. And alot of catching ups were done.

Though most of us are going back back to camp at that night, we managed to go to all the houses.

Very memoriable one...

And, yesterday,

after completing my guard duty in camp,

i came down to jo's new house to pay a visit.

Mama was fine, though, couldnt meet papa and haikal.

But the new house was kinda cool.

very cool.

After that, went home and

met up with them loves for a picnic...

Surprisingly, the park wasnt that crowded either,

The sky, the sun was great.

But the wind wasnt there to give that cool breeze.

But nevertheless, i enjoyed the afternoon with the loved ones.

Tonight would be booking in, and yeah, the week was as usual,

Poking each other, and learn more medical stuffs.

I passed my overall practical.

all thanks to seri for her guidance.

Till here for me to update. Good Day people!

2009-10-09T22:32:00.002+08:00

This week was full of madness.

Full of bloody masacre

Full of things cramped inside my brain.

Theory test = Fail by 2 marks.

Practical test for bandaging of fracture= Fail

Bandaging of Wounds=Pass

OPA insetion=Pass

BVM=pass

Oxygen rescusitator=Pass

Devil Bliss=fail with the most idiot prove mistakes.

Veins were constantly poked by needles.

And the brain are filled with medical terms.

I felt as if i' being brain washed during this course.

Next week, another 2 more IV excersise held...

This weekend, it seems that everyone is busy.

And I was planning for a movie date.

But...sadly...none are free.

Takkan nak date lelaki kan. Bodoh!?

so, yah, im mentally tired.

Till here.

Good Night.

2009-10-04T01:10:00.002+08:00

2 Weeks has passed just like that.

And guess what, I've been putting on alot of weight during these few weeks.

reason being was that, during training, or should i say, Course,

all we do is Eat, Study, Sleep.

And my mind getting too cramped up with those medical terms and steps which i've yet to memorise for upcomming test.

3 months of course which worth the certificate of taking 1 1/2 year of Diploma in nursing.

Hopefully i got my ass scrape through this course. haha!

And so, on saturday, went to nadt's open house with yasin.

We ate for almost 3-4 hours, and again, this tummy of mine is getting bigger.

After the event, went down to Marina square to get a breather..

Eventhough its only 2 of us, yet, the time is occupied with some things.

I should set some time to get my physical fitness back somehow.

Pay day falls on next week. Yessa!

I wanna go for a movie date. Any singles interested??

haha!

2009-09-26T22:54:00.002+08:00

A week of Hari Raya Festive has just passed.
And yeah, some how, i enjoy the 1st few days of it.
After the 4 days off from military life,
I had my first step into Nee Soon Camp.
And the training there were not as what, we expected.
It was more to learning then "tekan-ing"
well, maybe i shouldnt assume this early
especially when it's only a week of training.

So, new mates met. The Instructors there are more likely to be more reasonable.
New rules and regulations are introduced.
Another objective and goals need to be set up.

Pray for me, i'll achieve an at least a B+ for this course.
And also, hopefully, i'll get a hang of dealing with fresh-open wounds on human body.
damnations.

2009-09-19T04:59:00.002+08:00

A week of waiting for the posting result in camp really

made my brain blew up.

Alot of the platoon mates were being posted out and for me, and others, we had to wait for a week, and at the same time, we experienced a week of "honeymoon" GAIT

in camp togather with those who are posted as guardsmen.

It was a memoriable one and i didnt know, that this week was the last week i would be spending quality moment with the mates and commanders...

And so, i am being posted as Combat Medic.

Nee Soon Camp.

Here i go.... :D

2009-09-12T01:33:00.002+08:00

Time flies very fast nowadays. And the clock still kept ticking and ticking and ticking.

Sometimes, I felt so paranoid about it.

Thinking what would happen next.

And usually, it would be something unexpected.

Its hard to keep up with the time as it doesnt wait for anyone.

And for me, this whole week has been a blast.

I really enjoyed the week with the presence of friends and family around.

I start to believe in love between my loved ones.

Though, the trust are not that convincing, but, without them, your life would be meaningless.

So, now lets talk about the post that i would be in.

Eventually, as what i expected, there's no letter involved.

We will be informed about our posting, this sunday, in camp.

Syabas. Or should i say, well done. -.-"

2009-09-10T11:57:00.003+08:00

Happy 45th Birthday Mom!

Happy 22th Birthday Naz!

Happy 19th Birthday Yasin Maut!

2009-09-08T09:16:00.000+08:00

Nike Mercurial Superfly

Either Macbeth Elliot *above* or The Premium below.

Swatch Moving Beat or..

Swatch "AHH!"

These are my current Wishlist which im setting up now.

Hopefully the pay would be enough for me to get atleast one of the item mentioned above.

Other than that, i need a new pair of Black Jeans,

New pair of shirts and also socks.

Most of my socks are so-called bitten by the rats.

-.-"

so yeah. Payday Payday, come faster.

And to those "abang abang Police who's enlisted today, all i could say, Good Luck in your 4 months. :D"

2009-09-05T11:50:00.000+08:00

BMT phase are finally over. The 24 click route march was the most mind blowing journey to complete. Well, it is best said that almost everyone was exhausted, including the commanders.

But with the spirit everyone put in, we managed to pulled it through as a team, a platoon and as a company.

Charlie won the best company award and im proud to be in it, though sometimes, things cocked-up during training. HAH.

Post-Out-Parade was the defining moment in us, NSmen life.

All the loved ones came to watch us graduated as a soldier for our 3 months of military trainings.

Tears of joy and happiness spread around the parade and to me, its the best part of my life.

The sense of accomplishing something that is way beyond your comfort zone.

Now waiting for my post. Another obstacle that i have to clear in this 2 years.

Combat Medic??.............

2009-08-29T23:45:00.000+08:00

Well, im back again. 2 weeks of hell was finally been through. Alot had happened lately. Field camp was rather a tough journey for me or should i say, for the muslims who fast. Tough training and bad weather came crashing onto us. But, never the less, we managed to pulled it through. It seems that i have another week to go before posting out and i some sort have a heavy heart to leave the platoon. Yes, infact, i sometimes, do hate some of them pretty much. But its a matter between BMT life and a Posted out life. I hope i'll get a posting suitable for me. As you could see, im not that kinda "ON soldier" haha!

Lets hope that something good would happen and change my life entirely.

Its been a week since the commence of Ramadhan and im looking forward to break-fast with my loved ones.

Tough time wont last. Tough Man Does.
Hurrah.

2009-08-17T10:52:00.000+08:00

Yet, another week has passed, and it seems that the journey to an end of BMT life are geting closer. But, not to be too excited, as this friday would be going down to Tekong for field camp. Eventhough im physically prepared for the worst in field camp, the Holy Month of Ramadhan also commence on that particular week.

Seems that, this obstacle are what God planned for me. I believe i could make it through.
And i will, make it through some how.

Wish me luck and pray for our safety and health people. We will be reaching home soon approximately 10 days later.

Good Day everyone...

2009-08-02T13:50:00.000+08:00

Well, im back again.
Training in camp was fine, though the pain on my knee is comming back due to pushing myself too hard
during trainings. But never the less, i managed to pull through both 6 clicks and 8 clicks route march within 2 days.
It was the most life-leeching days i ever had.

I passed some tests which i should not mention here.
I felt a sense of accomplishment.
Though, some test i failed, for eg. IPPT,
I either got passed, or silver gradings for most of the stations
but i still failed my chin-ups.
Well, i managed to improved on it by 1. haha.

Besides that, im looking forward on next week's trainings.
Hopefully, the platoon meet the objectives and co-operate.
I hate it when it came to a point of us getting punishments.

So, thats all i've gotta update.
approximately another 1 month to go before POP.

Good Day Everyone.

2009-07-18T18:50:00.000+08:00

Was sent home due to High Fever. And was given 6 days mc.

Gonna miss alot of trainings and stuffs.

Damn...

2009-07-09T23:04:00.001+08:00

Alright...Here i go for the 2 years of life in the jungle..CHEH!

haha!

You guys are missed!

Taking Care.

A real botak guy gonna rise someday.

Good Night!

2009-07-09T00:56:00.003+08:00

Well, It is the last Soccer Playing for Wednesday this week onwards.

I'm beginning to have this heavy heart to leave the life I've been leaving.

Once stepping onto a comrade's life, it'll be another life, another path for me to walk to.

One more day. The big day.

Insya'allah, I'll make it through...

Good Night.

2009-07-08T00:27:00.002+08:00

Ni duer feeling tengok dream lovers...

anyway, soccer match was great. The field was a good one to play. Played behind the SIA training center. Best field ever played so far.

Besides loosing to the vetarans 3-4, we managed to play a good and clean match with them.

TEAM HASSAN. Aka Bapak Yasin.

Three more days to the big day.

haiyo...payao sak!

2009-07-07T01:35:00.002+08:00

Wanna wish this dude a

HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY!

Hopefully you achieve your goals and be successful in life.

7 years of friendship, and still its strong.

Be wise and Cool.

2009-07-06T01:07:00.000+08:00

NS LIFE. ENJOY!

2009-07-06T00:40:00.002+08:00

Today, woke up in the morning for soccer training.

Quite disappointed as 8 of us only turned up.

We ended around 12 noon and after washing up, had our lunch at downtown.

Saw Nana on her way to work.

And we then slacked for a while.

I went home, got myself ready, off to meet zma and jaja.

Had fun and laughter

Yesterday, met up with the kakis to support a friend of mine performing band concert down at the esplanade.

Well, as usual, SEMAK.

The performance was great.

Saw titi with her friends.

After the performance,

head down to marina square to have our supper.

KFC.again.

And again, laughters and laughters.

Best.

So to sum it up, My last Saturday and Sunday were Enjoed fully.

Thanks to the mates!

Note to self= 5 more freaking days!

Shit. Anyone has a pair of goggles?

2009-07-04T00:48:00.001+08:00

And Happy 18th Birthday to this mangkok over here..

May you'r blessed with wonderful things and creatures in your life.

Legal age already...INOCEMY

2009-07-04T00:33:00.003+08:00

6 More Days to Chalet at Bedok! And i cant wait to get it done and over with it!

Its seems that this girl,
<--------
really told the others bout my plans ah!
Dalam diam, blog kau berbual pasal aku!
Soo disappointed you know!

Jaja Binks, you watch out ah! -.-"

Well, tomorrow will be comming down to Esplanade to support Titi's friend performing. Wanna enjoy the last Saturday.
Sunday morning..Soccer Training down at Pasir Ris.
and..the following days...i aint sure what am i gonna occupy myself with...
Oh yar, have to get something for Min...

Oh well, gonna enjoy the last week as much as possible..
Gooden Nighten everyone...

2009-07-03T01:01:00.003+08:00

These two ladies made me smile in my dream last night..

Im such a lucky guy... :D

Yessa!!!

Well, ive been having endless soccer match back to back lately, and im so worn off. Blisters everywhere on my foot and i could barely walk properly.

It seems that im left with exactly ONE WEEK..and i've yet to pack my things up, cut my hair and do some house cleaning on my destops.

Speaking of cutting hair...aww..can i make it as a wig? so that i could wear it when i booked out?

hais...botak lagi...sedih...

hmm..tonight...more hotties in my dreams please... X-)

2009-07-03T00:19:00.000+08:00

Shes adorable...haha! what a musician...

2009-06-30T15:47:00.001+08:00

Watched...

Revenge of the fallen?
One word: Superb!

2009-06-29T15:16:00.001+08:00

Hilarious.

2009-06-28T23:57:00.002+08:00

Okay, on Saturday had a mini soccer match..

And damn, tiring it was..very exhausted at that point of time.

After soccer, went home early and washed up. Meet up with the group

over at downtown, and we had some time walking there...

Im moaning in agony due to my blisters and scrapped butt while walking a long distance to find a perfect spot to rest upon...

Thon at Whitesands Mac till the next day, and had a power nap after reaching home at 7 in the morning.

So, today, in the afternoon, met up with naji,nisay and irzda

Had a mini picnic at pasir ris park.

At night, we had dinner down at alfresco.

I'm quite disappointed but never the less, i don't recommend you guys eating there.

Imagine, 4 bucks, for a plate of noodle with a quantity of half your Maggie instant noodles.

Pathetic pricing. tsk3

Met Nana for a while before she went home.

after which, met up with the rest over at the interchange and took the bus home..

Pictures Below...

These are the people who went on saturday night.

And my Koyak-ed Pantat.. I barely can sit comfortably..

2009-06-27T01:10:00.001+08:00

Seriiioooussss shit...i wanna watch this A.S.A.P

Who wanna watch?

I know all those coupled caught it by then.

Any single ladies? "now putcha hands 'up"

I need to breathe

2009-06-25T11:55:00.002+08:00

Have you ever experienced a moment of time where you were once so high-up over there, and suddenly, you flung so fast and dropped to ground zero. Have you experience about believing in love so much, but now, you wouldn't even wanna think about it, because of some beings made you felt that way? Have you ever trusted someone so much, until you were blinded by their two-headed serpent image?

If you experienced any of this, you are much a normal human.

But, if you think these are bull shits, or you just thought I'm being such a wussy to express my feelings over here, then i think you shouldn't belong in this world. You yourself are the wussy after all. Because, your life are too corrupted, too boring, too meaningless until you have to provoke someone to make it interesting for you.

Not happy? meet me, I'll swear I'm gonna give you a nice blow off your face.

2009-06-23T23:48:00.003+08:00

Today, was all about doing mozaic, recording stpid videos and Have a Crazy night.

Thats all.

Looking forward on saturday's match and tomorrow's soccer.

2009-06-22T22:38:00.000+08:00

Sleep alone tonight...

2009-06-22T13:06:00.002+08:00

Well, saturday was all about going to queensway, finding new boots, new jerseys and shin pads.
Handerson Bridge
Home
Crazy Veds in Elias Estate
Cover Song
And Home.

2009-06-20T14:36:00.002+08:00

Seriously, the situation turns from bad to worst...

And i cant wait to leave this town, to serve the nation.

Its better over there.

Thanks, I know I'm just a slap of concrete to you people.

2009-06-19T01:10:00.002+08:00

..................................Waiting........................................

.................and waiting...........................................

............................................and waiting...........................

........and waiting..........

...............................and waiting........................

...................................and wait....ing..............

..........and wait.....................................ing

and.....................waiting.........................

.......................and............boom...die...

i felt invisible.

I felt like pumping someone's face. Serious shit.....

2009-06-18T11:54:00.001+08:00

2009-06-18T01:03:00.002+08:00

To think of it, its been a long time since i've get love and care for myself.
Either from home, or my personal life.

I missed those years, where i got the freedom,the excitement, care,love from people whom i love.

Yeah, maybe it's part and parcel of me growing into adulthood.

Seems that every time im at home, i dont feel that im part of them.

Maybe there's something i left out somewhere...

Communication? Hah! Its all about irrelevant naggings at me for small matters.

Never for once, they appriciate me for what i've did.

Try cleaning the whole damn house, which is soo squeeky clean and all are in place.

The next thing you'll see, is them, doing those all over again.

And make it as if i am rotting at home and has no hope at all.

Im not stating the fact that im feeling emotional or what, but to think of it, everyone does need that love and care..dont you?

I just dont get it why lah ehk.

Well, im just clearing my mind out..

Anyways, I HAVE A PAIR OF TELESCOPE LAH SIOL!

wanna star gaze now!?

People come, people go

Fuck all of em

2009-06-17T12:04:00.001+08:00

I wanna make one now...

2009-06-16T23:41:00.003+08:00

Today is al about

- Tamp 1

-Timezone Arcade

-Walking around TM

-Icecream at macdonals.

When the single star shines above

The light of happiness vanished away.

2009-06-15T00:47:00.002+08:00

Okay, i wont be able to update with photos taken on friday.
Zimah's camera was found dead in her hands.
so, let summarise it...

Friday:
-Tenting in ECP
-Two paitao queens. *zimah and shammy* Standard, dah berubah...
-Macdonalds at 3 in the morning

Saturday:
-Went back home from ECP in the afternoon.
-Got ready and went to bugis
-Went back to simei In the Evening and meet izrul and yasin in simei
-Got home, and get ready to go fishing with Min.
-Fished at Punggol end for 5 hours.
-The next day went home..

Sunday:
-Slept for 3-4 hours and awaken by mom's phonecall
-Got ready for soccer training.
-I nearly faint..as in NEARLY faint.

Homed at 11 at night.

So yes! you can see how lethargic i am now..need more rest, where someone who's in high heels are energetic now...

If we'r given that second chance,
Then grab it and dont repeat history.

2009-06-12T10:30:00.000+08:00

2009-06-12T01:35:00.001+08:00

Jauh mana mampu bertahan
Sampai bila harusku kenang
Setiap kali bertentangan
Tiada ketenangan

Cemburumu merantai hati
Meleburkan semangat diri
Bila aku kenangkan kemanisan lalu
Semua itu ku ketepikan

Andaiku turut rasa hati
Telah jauh ku bawa diri
Tapi kemaafanku lahir dari hati… mengatasi
Sejarah mungkin berulang
Walau engkauku maafkan
Oh kekasih
Tapi mungkin hanya sementara
Keinsafan di hatimu

Berpanas hujan berembun
Tak pernah ku hiraukan
Asal dapat memenuhi
Segala keinginan hati

Ku bina istana cinta
Dihiasi lukisan rindu
Indahnya pada di luar
Tapi penuh kepalsuan
Bila ku tiada
Terbuktilah
Betapa aku pula di sisimu

Sejarah mungkin berulang

2009-06-11T15:29:00.003+08:00

8th months..and counting.

2 Years and counting.

30 days and counting.

1 Year 10 months and counting.

These are some of the moments I've been keeping track of.

I think i figured out how i live.

Simple, advice people, change their perspective, and there, I'm gone from their mind.

Good day ahead.

2009-06-11T03:07:00.002+08:00

Soccer soccer Soccer...what can i say...

*sigh*

Well, yus nearly get his face pump by this fat guy with beard.

And i managed to pulled both of them away.

Lucky it didnt get any worst.

I felt lethargic, and getting restless day by day.

The weather was freaking scum bag humid.

I woke up in bed, and found out as if someone threw a pale of water onto me.

K thats a lie.

And heavenly God. for the record, i only used 2 text msgs today. Best.

Seems i dont need the hp nowadays.

Lets get a pager instead. Motorolla. Anyone?

Failed.

2009-06-10T00:59:00.003+08:00

Met nas for her lunch and dessert treats

then met feka,dan,sham and phee/titi for movie at cathay.

The day was fun, but soon, sour moment came when on the way home.

I looked myself upon the mirror

and i think about it.

It gave me this chill,

that never would i forget it.

I asked myself,

What am i going to be in few years time.

Will i be successful?

Or will i just be a failure in anything i do?

People told me, theres alot of fish out there.

I should just have to be more patient.

But let me tell you, if those fish has the same attitudes

The same behaviour.

Then, having your patience worn out, really defeats the purposes...

thanks again for those who treat me today.

2009-06-08T14:20:00.003+08:00

Perjanjian telah dibuat demi untukmu sayang.

Tetapi, adakah perjanjian ini dibuat untuk memuaskan hatimu,

atau perjanjian ini akan kamu mengambil berat atasnya?

Tidak sekali pun aku cuba membantah segala cadanganmu.

Aku mengalah, setiap detik, kesalahan atau persilisihan faham di antara kita..

Tetapi ini semua bukan bermakna bahawa,

aku ini tiada perasaan.

Hendak ku tahu, dimanakah kamu...ku risau..

2009-06-08T02:52:00.001+08:00

Where on earth are you?

And Only God knows how much i miss you....

Counting the days pass...before i leave this place..

2009-06-06T00:51:00.002+08:00

First and foremost, I'm officially unemployed lah seh!

Soccer games just now was nothing but full of energy. Finally, a real game to play.

Tomorrow, a long day ahead. Need to be at cousin's place at 10 and i have doubts on getting up as early as that. As you can see, its 1 am and i still am not asleep. Whoop ass.

And for "only God knows why" reason, I'm being chose as his Best man.

I'm nervous...

PS. Plaza Singapura...

I miss your care and concern and your love..

2009-06-05T00:20:00.004+08:00

yea...its easy to tell someone to forget something precious, or to do something hard for them to accomplish.
Though you had learnt a lesson yourself, you cant expect people to go through the same as you did.
Try putting yourself in their shoes, and feel the pain in the arse.

Sometimes, people tend to get their selfishness way over the limit.
Such that, their ego would rise and wouldnt give TWO FUCK about what the said to others.

Korang fikir, free2 per suroh aku nih, aku tuh..
try ah dulu tengok keadaan aku camaner.
Kalau korang fikir korang ni bagus sangat,
then so be it.
Ape aku kesah.
Korang tahu nak pentingkan tentang perasaan korang dulu.
Beh orang lain tak payah lah?

Aku diam2, korang mau pijak kepaler aku..
Buto sama anda semua ah.

Sia2, aku kasi muker kat korang..

ok enough said.
im done....fuck off.